


to be by your side/what a heavenly way to die.

by shisens



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Bad end, Character Death, Drabble, F/M, One Shot, Romance, and spoilers for......the game, and that just Wasn’t Good Enough, everything’s SAD and POETIC, i guess? if someone still doesn't know what his real name is, i wrote this in my notes on my phone a few months ago and thought...hey.....why not post it, no happy ending, spoilers for 707's real name, starts sweet and ends bad, they were so close to a happy end, written very...prose-y
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-18
Updated: 2018-08-18
Packaged: 2019-06-27 15:21:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15688125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shisens/pseuds/shisens
Summary: all beginnings have an end. their beginning just ended too soon.





	to be by your side/what a heavenly way to die.

_**to be by your side-** _

 

when he confesses his love to her, it’s desperate; full of longing and thick with a guilt that’s been hanging on for far too long (it has stained his entire being -  _how unfair,_  she thinks).

the embrace he’s pulled her in has her head buried into his chest, and she revels in his warmth - though his shaking is a reminder that this confession was not an easy task, that this realisation that he could simply say it to her, was overwhelming. she hears the desperation in his quietly whispered voice - it’s a secret from his heart, and it’s only one from a countless collection within him - and she knows his insecurity that lingers within. she knows it’s been an endless feat of emotional turmoil for him to finally breathe it out into the air, and it weighs down her own heart like no other weight in her life. she wants him to know her feelings for him are  _unbearably_  strong, despite the past few days that made her fight him. she would do it all again if she had to, without a doubt. she has always seem him as something shining, able to blind her far too quickly with his brilliance, humour and just...his whole being (it’s a little overdramatic, but they both deserve to be after everything). she wants him to know that his chance was still here, grasping onto him as tightly as she could. he had been battered into a life of constant danger, constant movement from any small, lingering thread of a connection to people that weren’t an agency threatening his life at every possible wrong turn. she needed to show him that didn’t have to be his reality anymore.

it’s silent - he’s silent; waiting for his answer (she wonders if he thinks it’ll all be torn apart, as if she would laugh off his love like everything leading to this moment was all a long tease, her pulling him along into an unexplored depth of him). she’d scream her answer from every rooftop if it meant he’d understand - but now wasn’t that the time. she could do that later.

while saddened by his guilt almost choking his confession, she feels elated,  _alive_. his love is so many things, a complicated algorithm that takes skill to uncover, by someone more talented than him, she laughs to herself - she outsmarts him there! the joy that spreads through her body from causes her to pull away (slightly, only slightly; she is always there) from his embrace, and peer into his eyes; they are completely focused on her, pleading for something he denied himself for countless years. he is vulnerable, and she knows it’s rare for him to be completely exposed to her or anyone; emotionally raw - without it being slathered in a practiced smile or an ireful blockade.

most would have to tread carefully on their answer, and most would cower slightly at vulnerability from anyone, at a confession so deep as his.

but she does not. she has fought through, and survived, eleven days of increasing chaos, and so she softly smiles at him.

“i love you, too. wasn’t that always obvious?”

_and then, she hopes he knows it’s just the beginning._

* * *

**_-what a heavenly way to die._ **

 

he doesn’t think about the bullet lodged into him, or how worryingly familiar the sensation is. he doesn’t even think of the approximate time he would die (numbers, estimates, approximates; they’ve all become what his life revolves around).

instead, he thinks about the people he did this for.

 _he_  comes to mind - though  _he_  is also the reason that blood is beginning to seep through his clothes at a horrifying rate.  _him_  and how  _he_  looked at him as if he’d ended the world, stripped it of all its beauty and hope. how  _he_  looked at him as if he was truly poisonous and wished he would rot in front of _him_. (there’s another pain in his chest, now).

he did this for him. all he wished was a chance at life, again. that the man upstairs would decide that enough was enough, and he no longer deserved to live as a cockroach disguised as a carefree butterfly. he did it so they could start a new life, together - just like he’d once promised in a hushed voice, the faint sound of a smashed bottle not so far away. but he believed he’d gone back on his word, and he’d gotten twisted into a life they never promised each other. it made him feel revolting that he’d allowed this to happen.

but all he wanted was a happier life, like he’d been given a taster of with her.

_her._

she was also a reason he did this. she’d stubbornly crashed into his life, his own algorithm, and hadn’t given up - she’d brought a warmth, lighting his solemn life, shining promises of a day worth living that she fulfilled each day; even when he, in his own foolishness, he thinks, tried to draw curtains to her sunlight. but she persevered, and he, even now, thanks her for it. with her promises brought forward a hope; one that had been desperate to escape from his tightened lungs into the air, and a hope that he tried to wither into an expected despair. with love like hers, with a life with her, he wanted to share it with his other half - especially since he’d been so tortured without it for so long. with her, and him, the three of them could walk towards something new.

... 

(so when his brother threatened to take away their new day, frantically screaming, he had to save her. he wouldn’t live to see the day she died because of him - she didn’t deserve that...and he couldn’t handle that.)

...

he thinks he can feel a hand underneath his head; cradling him close to a chest. her chest.  
it’s hard to open his eyes, but his life has never been easy, so he pries them open to gaze up at her.

she’s crying, and sobbing out his name; _saeyoung, saeyoung, please don’t die-!_

he feels light, and though she’s shaking, she feels warm against his cold skin, and he wants it to linger forever; an eternal sun. he feels her hand slip into his, and he tries to squeeze it, but his grip isn’t as strong as he’d like. she notices, and lets out a sharp breath, staring into his honeyed eyes - frantic for a sign of a sweet miracle. “saeyoung, hold on, i-“

her voice is too panicked, and it leaves him scrambling, even now, to make it better. he manages a wheezed reply. (he’d crack a joke if his wit would return.)

“don’t cry...please...”

her reddened eyes swell up with tears, despite his request - he lets out a smile, though, because  _of course_  she wouldn’t do as he asked her too. he would have never been able to let himself love her completely if she did. “i’m sorry, i’m  _so_  sorry, if i had been more alert about saeran, i-i—“ she’s blurring, and though he doesn’t want her to disappear, he can’t muster up the strength to cling onto her.

...oh. there’s sunlight. how long have they been here?

though the light from one of the windows, as cheesy as it is, created a heavenly effect on her presence, and he thinks of the cross around his neck, and the big guy upstairs. she’s basically his angel, and he needs her to stay an angel on this earth while he travels off to space. ...but he needs to leave a final message, before he’s ready to venture off into the vast unknown.

“i love you.”

he hears her wailing echo, feels him shift closer to her body, thinks he’s at least thankful he died for her, by her, and then-

_then he knows it’s the end._

**Author's Note:**

> have a lovely day, folks!  
> (im sorry if dying seven seems ooc odhjsa i tried to excuse it)


End file.
